Lawson 15 Months

Yea, so I'm nearly a month behind.  Better late then never has been my motto the past few months.

Height 31 3/4 inches (71%)

Weight 26 lbs (88%)

Head Circumference 19 inches (86%)

He did great with his shots and Dr. Clarke said he is one smart and healthy baby.

Can say: amen, uh-o, nana (I think he's trying to say banana), tickle, dog, bye-bye, Gigi, Pappy, Mimi, Mommy, Daddy, babe, nose, no-no, eye and the newest big word bicycle. 

Climber.  The other day he was on the table before I knew it.  Exciting times ahead :/

Determined.

Starting to put things in the toilet, hit, whine and throw food off his high chair.  As you can imagine loving discipline is in full effect.  

Loves Kyndel, the dog. 

Gives the best kisses and hugs. 

Has such a silly personality. 

Loves to laugh. 

Loves to dance.

Peek-a-boo is so much fun! 

"Super Why" is his favorite show.

Loves the outdoors.

Loves his Pappy.

100% boy!!

When you look back...

I remember it like it was yesterday.  Living in Stephenville, TX as a college student.  I thought I had my life so together; I always told my friends I wanted to live my life with no regrets.  I never wanted to look back on my life and say, "I wish I would have...".  This was one of the driving factors in my desire to go to graduate school in PA.  Of course, I was scared to death to leave all I ever knew and I knew if I didn't get accepted or got accepted but was too scared to leave I would have a huge regret.

I look back and realize I was so self-absorbed that it's not even funny...well maybe a little funny ;)  Let me just put it out there...there are many things in my life I look back on and regret.  The problem with this is that I've let those regrets take a piece of my heart and transform itself into guilt and shame.  This guilt and shame is paralyzing.

I've got to get past this and truly accept God's gift of grace and forgiveness.  I've got to start with my relationship with my creator.  The one who knows me better then I know myself. 

This week he has given me a few verses that I want to share with you.

Isaiah 48:17 NIV
"This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go."

Joshua 1:8-9 NIV
"Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Hebrews 10:23 The Message Bible
"Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word."

1 Peter 1 13-16
"So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that's coming when Jesus arrives. Don't lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn't know any better then; you do now. As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am holy; you be holy."

This week God has shown me I can't do anything without him.  How am I supposed to know how to live daily if I'm not reading in my creators manual (the Bible) daily? 

 

Every week will bring new challenges.  I'm thankful for the word I was given this week.  It's getting me one step closer to being who God created me to be.


I need to print off my declarations and post them in the bathroom where I see myself everyday and need to be reminded of how my Heavenly Father sees me.
*I am confident.
*I am disciplined spirit, soul and body.
*I am highly focused.
*I am creative.
*I am loved.
*I am highly favored with God and men.

I've been working out at least 3 times a week and I can't even begin to tell you how much stronger I feel.  I would say about 75% of the time I eat 1700 calories a day.  I haven't lost any weight which is a little discouraging but I'm not going to focus on the number on the scale.  I'm going to focus on the fact that I feel stronger and my mind is starting to become less foggy.  As my friend Kayla always reminds me, "Celebrate the small victories!!"

Looking forward to another great week and can't wait to see what the Lord shows me next week.  I can feel His spirit rising up in me, and the confidence I know I have will soon follow!!

Thank you for your prayers, encouragement, and being real enough to share your struggles too!  We will overcome!

Lotts of love,
Tiff 

Overwhelmed by you!

I can't even begin to tell you how overwhelmed I am with everyone's encouragement. The emails, FB posts, FB messages and texts meant so much to me and I'm seriously overwhelmed with your out pouring of love and honesty.

This is going to be a daily battle and your prayers will help me battle my mind and daily struggles.

I was so hesitant to blog about this journey because to be honest with you I don't want to be "that girl" that has self esteem issues and of course fear of failure.  However I know God wants to me to do this and be very open and honest.  I will try my hardest.

When I read yesterday's blog I know those were God's words not mine.  I'm sure throughout this journey it will be clear when it's me writing and when it's God.  Forgive me for the days when it's all about me...

So my 3 day journey...Monday and Tuesday were so good, I spoke truth, ate well, drank plenty of water and exercised.  Today different story.  Lawson has been sick and I think it finally got me.  My throat is super inflamed, horrible cough and really lethargic.  Went to the doc and they gave me a cough syrup with hydrocodine in it, WOW, I think it made my feel even worse.  Yea the cough is gone but geez I feel pretty loopy.  I also think these nights of broken sleep are starting to get the best of me.  Lawson has been waking up around 3am and if I don't get to bed till 11ish it makes for a rough night.  After I finish this blog I'm hitting the sack with the house a total disaster :/

Even though today was a bad day, I ate unhealthy, didn't exercise, drank more diet coke then water and just felt blah.  Tomorrow is a new day and I refuse to give into my old ways!  I'm gonna make mistakes and have bad days, fact.

"But one thing I do:  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:13-14 NIV)

Good night friends and thank you again for being YOU, real, honest and encouraging YOU!

Lotts of love,
Tiff

Let's get real, for realz...

I'm feeling like it's time to get real. It's time to take some real life struggles and deal with them. How many times do I need to have myself a dang pity party, seriously?

The past few months I've been really insecure, lacking self confidence and just down right needy. I've never really dealt with these emotions before. I mean sure I would have my days but that's just it, it was days. Not weeks which have turned into months and I'm afraid if I don't get this bull by the horns it's gonna be years. Years wasted. I can't be the only person that has ever dealt with this horrible lack of whatever it is.

Trust me I know that there are way worse things going on in the world and this is super minute. However it's where I'm at and I need to figure out how to get my zeal for life back.

I love being a mommy, I really do so don't hear me say otherwise. I just feel like I've lost myself and I'm starting to hid behind being a mommy.

With all of that being said I want to blog my journey. I want to look back and see this pit God has dug me out of filled with dirt and a beautiful oak growing out of what was once a dark self-righteous hole. I envision my family standing with our Father on top having conquered it, looking back only to see that God does love us and will give us the strength to conquer anything as long as he is our heart.

As I walk with Him daily I pray that I don't lose sight of what the Lord has laid before me, I pray he will change my heart and fill me during the days that I struggle. I'm so thankful to have a husband who no matter what state I'm in, always sees beauty, loves me, and encourages me to be a loving wife, mother, friend and follower.

I hope I can stick with blogging through this journey, your prayers and encouragement will help me so much!

My goals are to love my Father, baby and husband with ALL my heart.
Change the way I speak about myself.
Honestly accept compliments.
Speak positive declarations over myself:
*I am confident.
*I am disciplined spirit, soul and body.
*I am highly focused.
*I am creative.
*I am loved.
*I am highly favored with God and men.
Speak God's word over myself. "I have chosen you and have not cast you away. Fear not, for I am with you: be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you. I will hold you with My righteous right hand" (Is. 41:9-10). Eat 1700 calories on average. Work out for 30-45 minutes 3-4 times per week. Drink water.

"You will never change your life until you change something you do daily"
-John Maxwell

It seems like only yesterday...

2 bottom teeth - 7 months

That's a wrap

Whew I feel like this was a whirlwind of a week. It always gets a little crazy around here the week before the Women's retreat. I embrace it and TRY to keep a positive attitude.

Moments like this sure help

Monday:
Went shopping for things to donate for the Women's retreat, fun day! Harwin, Sam Moon, Charming Charlies, Nordy. Got lots of really cool items, I can't wait to give them all away next weekend. My favorite donation prize is the bronze beauty bag, so cool!

Tuesday:
Baby food making day. Started at 2pm and didn't completely finish until 10PM! Yes 8 hours to make baby food. It took a lot longer this time because I added a few more organic recipes to the mix. This batch should last a few weeks, I sure hope so anyway. I made a total mess of the kitchen, wish I would have taken a few pics of the process. Peel, chop, steam, cool, blend, label and store.
Here's the menu for sweet baby Lawson for the next few weeks:
Blueberries and Pears
Beets and Blueberries
Spinach and Mango
Parsnips, Lentils, and Apples
Turnips and Sweet Potatoes
Kale, Blueberries, Apple and Fig
Broccoli and Apples
Butternut squash and Pears
Acorn Squash and Lentils
Carrots, Squash and Broccoli

He better love me for this!

Wednesday:
Caught up on the mound of laundry that's been calling my name for 7 days :)
Took Lawson to the park to play with other babies. Every Wednesday moms from the neighborhood meet up at the park. It's been California type weather this week which makes being outside all the more pleasant. This park n' play is where we found out about the YMCA parent/child swim lessons on Saturday from 10:30-11am.

Loves the swing

Thursday:
Lawson had his 9 month check up!
Height: 28 3/4 inches tall, 68 percentile
Weight: 22 12 ounces, 92 percentile
Head Circumference: 18 1/4 inches 86 percentile

Lawson is as healthy as can be. He didn't have to have any shots so I was thankful for that. Dr. Clarke said he's a very smart strong baby.

Lawson is pulling up on EVERYTHING and is starting to get little bumps and bruises, part of being a little boy :)

He nurses 4 times a day and eats 3 solid meals.

He takes a morning and afternoon nap both usually last somewhere between an hour to an hour and a half.

We keep his night time routine the same every night. Bless our food, eat dinner, strip down, take a bath with lots of rubber duckies and rubber letters, lotion, jammies, story time (when we aren't having a melt down), nighty night prayers, nurse, plays in crib for a little bit to wind down and usually out by 7:30pm.

He usually wakes up around 5ish nurse for 10 minutes and goes right back down till 7am.

We also learned today that Uncle Seth took Command, so in honor of this...

My Uncle, My Soldier, My Hero!

Friday:
Workday at the church for the Women's retreat from 9am - 3pm. Today was a long day. After the work day went to the Lowe's (Dave and Mandy Lowe) to get a flat bed trailer so Adam can pick up lumber for the new deck he is building tomorrow...SO EXCITED!!

Ended the day visiting Delaney Hull who was born yesterday :)

I was hoping to get out and "Cover the Night" (http://www.kony2012.com/) with all my Kony posters but that will have to wait till tomorrow.

Time really does fly...

It's been a while since my last post and I just hate that. I genuinely thought I'd blog at least once a week with no problem. Boy was I wrong about that :/

I will get better or at least I'll try.

Life has been great in the Lotts house hold. Lawson is almost 9 months old, doesn't seem possible. He is pulling up any and everything he can which in turn has caused a few bumps and bruises. Every time I see him about to bite it I want to run to him and keep him safe. I try my best not to react and wait to see how bad it's going to be. Turns out he's pretty darn resilient.

He melts my heart daily and is such a light to so many people. He gives smiles very generously and has such a sweet spirit.

Adam is working on a new project at work and is very excited about where Vexor is headed. We've made some hard but neccesary changes in the past few weeks. I see God at work and that brings me such peace.

I'm praying about a new business oppurtuiny for me in the fashion world, we'll see if God opens this door or not. I'll keep ya posted.

I pray everyone had a blessed Easter!

Looking forward to getting back on track with blogging for the 5 of you that read ;). Love y'all Lotts!

God Bless,
Tiff

A boy and his dog

Lawson just loves Kyndel. He can be really fussy but if Kennie is around he forgets all about why he is fussy.

Lawson is about to get his legs under him and my life will be changed once again, as will Kyndel's. She'll never be able to get away.

Lawson is such a good eater. I've been making all his baby food. We've had avocado, sweet potatoes, pears and carrots. He seems to really like them all except the pears.

Lawson loves to bounce in all his bouncy seats.

Lawson has been taking 2, 2 hour naps. We usually have to shh-pat 45 minutes into the nap and then he's back down for the count.

Yo Gabba Gabba has become a favorite...it's so weird.

We had Lawson's Baby Dedication February 5th, 2012. It was a very special time for our family. I had planned on putting him in this sweet little white outfit but we were rushed on stage and that didn't happen.

I'm still nursing and love the special bond between the two of us. It's going to be sad when I have to stop.

I'm gaining weight and pretty uncomfortable but every time I try to diet my milk starts to dry up. I'm going to try to embrace this season of heaviness. I just hope it doesn't get out of control.

Adam is leading a small group in our home on Tuesday nights. It's a small little group but it's been great!

Well that's all for today. Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I hope to post weekly.

with love,
tiffnie

Rainy Day

I LOVE rainy days!

Today was especially special because I got to listen to the rain, rock Lawson in a cozy rocker, wrapped up in a blanket, read my Bible then watch "Water for Elephants".

Lawson took a 3 hour nap on my chest and I had a complete peace about it.

I love that I can blog about my day mainly because one day I may want to remember what I did on Wednesday January 25th, 2012.

Lawson wakes at 3:30am, I nurse him and put him back down.

He doesn't go back down.

I get frustrated at Adam because Lawson won't go back down, makes sense, right?

Rock Lawson back to sleep make an unsuccessful transfer back to his crib and shh-pat for 10 minutes until he falls back asleep.

Wide awake I check FB.

Comment on Tara's status about Owen.

Lawson wakes at 6:15am.

Angrily tell Adam it's his turn...he doesn't hear me.

Nurse Lawson.

Wake Adam and tell him to try to get him back to sleep.

Adam plays with Lawson while I sleep.

Wake up and nurse Lawson then pump.

Put Lawson in the Ergo carrier, do a load of laundry and pick up the house.

Talk to my Dad about getting with lawyer to review books with Greg. Agree this is ridiculous and we will take our time.

Feed Lawson cereal.

Play on floor with Lawson.

Change a shoo-britches (dirty diaper).

Decide to rock Lawson to sleep and let him sleep on my chest.

Read Mark 2.

Watch "Water for Elephants".

Check my email, respond to emails and check FB.

Feel a tug to buy Kim (Cortney's friend that is a single mother) new baby stuff.

Nurse Lawson.

Go to Costco and Target to buy Kim baby stuff.

Feed Lawson avocado. He loves it when I give Kyndel treats as he eats.

Get Kim's gifts organized.

Rock Lawson for another nap.

Talk to Britt, we both agree we will talk once a week on Wednesday's.

Talk to Cara, she is committed to our SG!

Talk to Gwen about this weekend, first weekend leaving Lawson overnight.

Nurse Lawson.

Cook spaghetti and make salad for dinner.

Lawson plays in a basket in the kitchen while I cook.

Get a text message from Becki aka Grammy. She's been sick:(

Pray with Lawson.

Feed Lawson cereal and avocado.

Clean his face.

Get him ready for bath.

Give Lawson a bath.

Belly kisses, lotion, jammies, bedtime story, prayers and kisses.

Lawson put himself to sleep with no help, atta boy!

Eat dinner, watch Alcatraz and enjoy a glass of wine.

Cory picks up the gifts for Kim.

Clean kitchen...even swept.

Pump.

Now write blog and wind down.

Lawson, you're 6 months!

Lawson,

You have grown so much. Today was your 6 month doctor appointment with Dr. Clarke at Blue Fish Pediatrics in Memorial City.

You loved playing with the table paper, I think you enjoyed the crinkle sound it made more than anything.

You also LOVED rolling yourself up like a mummy.

You weighed in at a whopping 21 lbs and 5oz (96 percentile), your head circumference was 17.75 (93 percentile) and your height was 26.25 inches (35 percentile).

You did so good with your shots, you are such a tough little guy.

You are rolling over both ways, sitting up with little assistance and saying da-da-da-da-da, ma-ma-ma-ma-ma, and my favorite, gud.

You only wake up once during the night and go right back down after being nursed.

Smiling is one of favorite things to do, you love everyone!

The fisher price puppy from Grammie and your bouncer from Pappy and Gigi are your two favorite toys.

Daddy reads to you almost every night and you seem to just love hearing his voice.

Kyndle makes you giggle when she licks you in the face.

You are my sunshine and such a sweet sweet blessing.

We love you very much!

Mama

Genesis 44

It's so awesome that God changed Judah so drastically. At first he was, in my opinion, a very selfish person (just like me) then God worked a complete change in his personality. This serves as a good reminder or "nugget of truth" that God can and will change even the most selfish personality...if you allow Him to.

1chapteraday.com

Quick rant...
Lately I've been feeling very blah. I haven't been eating like I should or working out so I know that is playing a huge part. Also being a new mom is really hard work. I just feel mentally and physically exhausted. Lawson is still waking up once during the night so that has my sleep pattern all off. Adam and I have our good days and not-so-good days, just being honest. I've got to find some balance.

I know that God is far bigger than my little problems. I've got to trust him daily and be renewed by him daily. God is so good and wants the best for me. I've got to get over myself, which come to find out is rather hard. I'm reminded often of Luke 9:23..."If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." This is actually a key verse we are studying during our new series at Church. God is never subtle with me, there is always a recurring scripture when he is trying to get my attention. Very thankful for that. I've got to start denying myself. Mike preached a great sermon on Sunday which of course included Luke 9:23. He made a great point that everything we want takes a backseat to ANYTHING God wants. He challenged us to take one area where we deny God access and choose instead to deny our self. I'm taking the step to read the word daily, D-A-I-L-Y (yes, even weekends).

Mike also made a great point that we shouldn't be harmless with our faith. Meaning go public, people need to know about our faith (which is one reason I'm sharing this). During this series we are challenged to carry a cross, literally carry a cross on our back for 40 yards 3 or more times a week. Carrying the cross allows us time to deny ourselves, talk with God and go public with our faith. To be totally honest when Mike first suggested this, I immediately thought, no way not going to do that. Monday morning during my quiet time while I was praying I asked God if he wanted me to participate. I told God all the reasons I didn't need to do it and then God made it clear that I was not denying myself and I was making this all about ME. So we went and carried the cross. It felt a little awkward but it was so good to obey and take up the cross and follow my father.

To help me stay in the word daily I'm starting to read along with 1chapteraday.com. I saw this a couple of weeks ago on facebook and felt the tug to start reading along but didn't. It's written by one of the pastors at our Church, Bruce Ammons, who is one cool guy. I'm going to start today reading one chapter daily. I look forward to having some commentary from a pastor I know and trust. I would love it if you would read along with me. Today's reading is from Genesis 43.

Lastly, tomorrow is Lawson's 6 month apt please pray that he doesn't have any pain and doesn't get sick from the shots.

Good night and sleep tight!

Lotts of love,
tiffnie

friday the 13th

so not scary.

i was born on a Friday the 13th.

missed quiet time.

an explosive dirty diaper. away from home. to find only two wipes left. yucky.

a wonderful phone conversation with my best friend, kayla. God is changing things up a bit for my sweet friend.

a surprise text/visit tomorrow from one my favorite people, mindymoo joseph.

a productive day.

trying not to eat a can of Virginia diner, chocolate covered peanut brittle. so delish. from the best mother-in-love ever!

went to visit one of our clients, dr. doshi. lawson got lots of hugs and kisses from all the staff.

visit to memorial city mall to exchange an outfit for a bigger size.

visit to wal-mart to exchange some diapers. lawson is now is a size 4, yikes.

family lunch at panera with dessert.

great company, adams graduate school friend and roommate, Chadwick.

change of plans for dinner.

lawson may actually take a nap for longer than 40 minutes (he's down as i type).

happy birthday to my love

Happy Birthday Adam!

I asked Adam this morning if he felt older, he indeed does. Maybe because we have had so many changes this year and running a business can do that to you!

Adam is the most amazing husband, I'm thankful God choose him for me.

He is so good with Lawson, a very loving daddy!

He is encouraging.

He works very hard to provide for our families needs and even wants.

He is a giver.

He is passionate about his health.

He makes me want to strengthen my relationship with Christ because he is so confident in the Lord.

He makes me feel like the best mom and that nobody could do it like I do.

He loves to make people laugh.

He is so patient.

He is amazing!

Love you babe!

Thank you Joe and Becki for raising such a great son! Thank you Becki for giving birth to him 31 years ago.

Adam taking Lawson with him to grocery store so I could have a little break!